So, yeah, the Beats Pill. You Instagrammers already know. But for those of you who don’t, Eric Clapton’s booming tonight. The dishes are now washed, dried, and put away, I’m happy to report (it’s the small victories, people). Nellie has given up chewing on her raw garden potato in favor of keeping a close watch-out (punctuated occasionally by her thorniest growl) toward the pasture and that audacious wild turkey hen parading her babies about as if she owned the place. The nerve of some of the fowl around here! Goodness.
So it’s Mr. Clapton (can I call him Eric?) Eric and I who’ve really got the run of the house this evening. A good thing, too, because here I am, typing away, at long last. It is Monday, you know, and I do post on Mondays, so this is working out.
It’s a wonder, really, that we even have a Beats Pill. In fact, one week ago, I couldn’t have even told you what one was. Seeing as how I am the least technically inclined person that has ever walked the face of the earth, this is not in the least surprising. You know that thing that makes one promptly want the latest and greatest electronic gizmo-gadgetty thing to hit the market? It simply did not come with me. I mean, if it weren’t for the people in my life who care about me, I would probably still be listening to 45’s on the little blue portable record player that I got for my 6th birthday. My computer’s old and slow, I have a cassette player in my car, and I still prefer a book over the Kindle. How it’s possible that I have a blog, I’ll never know.
So, three-quarters into the all-day, mind-numbing, hours upon hours of Hank the Cowdog drive home last week, I pulled off into the small city north of home, parked the car, and walked into the at&t store. I had pre-arranged to pick up some (love/hate) thingy that they promised would improve the cell signal strength in our home. The kind guy named Michael (can I call him Mike?) behind the counter was quick and eager to whisk it into a bag for me to take home and plug in immediately (it’s still in the box; the box is still in the bag; it’s been seven days; you see my point), but not before he happily told me about the mind-blowing store-wide special of buy-one-get-another-item-of-the-same-value-free!! That meant that I could choose $200 worth of free merchandise!! That meant I could choose the Beats Pill!
He was so excited. His co-worker beside him was so excited. They were nearly leaping together with joy.
I said, oh that was okay, I already had a speaker dock (is that what they’re called?) for my iPhone.
They blankly stared.
First at each other, then at me. They blinked. They cleared their throats.
They stared.
Had they been so inclined, I think they would have checked my vitals. I mean, here before them was a lunatic woman who was basically saying no to $200?
Yes.
They suggested a phone case(s). I said I didn’t like phone cases. They said they had all kinds of other things. I said I didn’t really need all kinds of other things. They said they had the Beats Pill in hot pink. I said I didn’t care for pink.
They stared.
I momentarily thought about launching into a mini-version of our story and the fact that we live in 665 square feet and that we’d spent the better part of the last two years getting rid of things. But at that point, the mush-brain that was lodged in my head couldn’t even cough forth the mini-version. So, I just said no thanks.
Awkward silence.
Then, in kindest exasperation, Mike’s co-worker, said, “You (who are clearly devoid of all form of wisdom and knowledge)could take the (ever-lovin’) Beats Pill and sell it on eBay (for crying out LOUD)!”
Well, hmm.
That made sense.
Okay. I’ll take the Beats Pill. The black one.
They were so happy with me.
Come to find out, my husband was so happy with me.
My children were so happy with me.
Um, people?
The Beats Pill never even came close to making it onto eBay.
You see, the men in my life had immediate plans for this thing I brought home.The speaker dock that was in the house is now in the shed - a handy thing when a certain man wants to rock out to the 80’s & 90’s while changing oil or tinkering on things.
And the Beats Pill? It’s in the house, there on the shelf, jazzing on this Monday evening, bringing Eric into my world while I slap out this post to the tune of Sunshine of Your Love.
Things work out.
Note: I must say, the Beats Pill is a great speaker solution for small space living (no, I'm not getting any compensation to say this!). If you'd like to see exactly what shelf it sits on, you may want to check out the living room tour here.
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